Talking Sex Abuse With Kids


I’ve spent the last day watching Netflix’s The Keepers, in my spare time. So, as I share a daughter who is going into the eighth grade, I am beyond grateful to have taken myself and her, away from the nonsensical bullshit that is organized religion. I’m well aware that not everyone has issues, and I also know that not all religions have pedophiles and murderers. What I DO know, is it is a parent’s responsibility to discuss sex with their child at a very young age, especially in a religious environment, because it is better to be safe than sorry. Because honestly, you really NEVER know.

I grew up in a home where sex wasn’t discussed because it was a sin. It was like, “Don’t think about it… don’t do it…you’re too young to know.” And perhaps had these young girls known about what is okay and not okay when it comes to sex, and had they not been brainwashed into thinking they were sinners by people of power, whom their parents entrusted, none of this would have happened. I am so bothered by the stories, because they are heartbreaking.

I learned about “sex” from my grade school best friend’s teenage sister. And because I had no education on real life, I made poor decisions at a younger age than I’d like to admit. In addition, was also molested by a family member whom I saw only at family reunions because he lived out of state. I didn’t know who to turn to or what the fuck happened or how it happened. It was mortifying, embarrassing, and crazy. I ended up confiding in a few family members and action was taken, but I also didn’t have the fear of not being “forgiven” in my head. I can’t even imagine the fear instilled in these naive, young girls.

Children, especially these days, are exposed to EVERYTHING, whether you like it or not or whether you know about it or not. I still remember calling my daughter’s father and saying, “Do you wanna have the porn conversation or do you want me to?” … since all of our kids have iPhones and we can’t parent control all the kids’ phones. He was like, “Ummm… I’ll let you have that one.”

So I took my daughter out to dinner and laid it out by letting her know I know she has an iPhone, I know she’s with her friends, I know she’s at the age where things start to feel funny when you have a crush, I know they’re curious about kissing and sex, and we just had a real conversation. She was honest. I mean, I remember how it was when I was her age.

There are some things we can’t prevent when it comes to our children, but by educating them on what’s right (good touch/bad touch), by TEACHING them, we’re GIVING them power and giving them a voice. We ‘re not taking away their innocence. I know that my daughter can come to me with anything because I’ve given her permission to. I’ve talked to her about things most people don’t wanna talk about. I feel like all parents need to do that. More so now after watching that documentary. We have to make our kids as unfuckwithable as we are making ourselves.

Have you talked to your kids about sex? What were some of your strategies and discussions? I’d love to hear from you.

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