Misdirected Love
I need to come out and say this, self-love does not come easy. It takes time, it takes practice, it takes commitment, it takes effort. Honoring a relationship with yourself takes just as much, if not more work than a relationship with someone else. I mean honestly, let's think about this…
How easy is it to lose who you are in someone else? How easy is it to put YOUR hopes and dreams and future into someone else?
Easy. Because the focus isn't on you. It's on an expectation.
You're just sitting by, letting your dreams slip away, because focus work on someone else and their responsibility and what another person needs to do differently is 1000% easier than taking a good, hard look at yourself. And then when your life doesn't work out the way you think it should, the blame isn't on “you.” It's on the other person…which I'll call bullshit right now.
Been there. Done that. Many times if I'm being honest.
I have spent a majority of my life, kind of knowing my worth, but not TRULY knowing my worth, which has in turn caused me to look for acceptance from the people I wanted to be deemed worthy of. I spent so much time on the people I wanted to be my friend or lover, and love me and accept me. I searched for these beautiful things outside of myself.
With that said, this is what I learned about this serious pattern I needed to break. There was like an “aha” moment I had one day:
When you go into a relationship not knowing your worth, you're seeking that from someone else. You're too caught up in trying to show them you're good enough for THEM, that you never even take into consideration that they may not be good enough for you.
I was always waiting to be chosen, without ever choosing myself. Then one day, I chose myself. And then decided to do that again. And again. And again.
I realized the most dangerous and tiring thing in the world is believing in someone's potential who doesn't believe in their own.
This is why that list you made of all the things you love about you is so important.
Stay tuned for Monday.