The Phases of Becoming

Yesterday, I did a Throwback Thursday post showcasing the many phases of my music career, starting back in 1999.

 

I've wanted to be a rock star since I was very young. Music was my escape long before it was ever my profession. I lived a life in and out of a youth center in my early years. I was sexually molested by a family member. I was told I was wrong in my life every step of the way. Disobedient. A rebel.

 

Music was the one place I could go where none of that defined me. So it made sense that I would want to make it my life.

I was 19 years old in that first photo, the one that is above.

I wouldn't join Cold until I was 35. Even back then, I had a vision. I lived it. You can see it in my eyes. It's pretty funny. (ps...tickets are on sale for our upcoming spring tour here.)

 

Sixteen years of doing the damn thing before I ever made any sort of living. And honestly, the money of being a rock star isn't what it once was - but I've built a life that includes coaching, writing, and pouring candles… and I'm deeply grateful for those creative extensions of who I am when I'm not on the road.

A lot of times I say I was lucky.

Maybe I was.

 

My story really does feel like a fairy tale in many ways, and there isn't a day that passes that I'm not aware of that - especially when I'm on stage with some of the most incredible musicians I've ever come across. But the road here wasn't easy.

I sacrificed a “normal” life.

And my son, in turn, had to sacrifice too.

I'm forever grateful for the relationship we have now - but there were seasons where he hated me… and we had to work through that.

 

There were times I was homeless. Times I didn't know where I was going or what I was going to do. But even then, the evidence always pointed to one thing:

 

And somehow… it still is.

 

If you've been watching my content lately, you know I've been deeply studying David Bayer. His work is incredibly aligned with what I believe and what I teach.

 

Yesterday I was on my treadmill watching his newest podcast, and he said something that landed deeply:

There is no future.
There is only now.

Which also means… there is no past.

 

Yet both live rent-free in our heads - fueling anxiety, fear, regret.

He teaches that we live in one of two states of being: Primal or Powerful.

 

 

Uncertainty
Fear
Stress
Anger
Jealousy
Agitation

 

 

Joy
Gratitude
Peace
Love
Contentment
Inspiration

 

So the question becomes:

What do you think about regularly… and what state do those thoughts put you in?
 

I've always had this weird calm about me.

Once I became an adult, I was very “go-with-the-flow.”

I never knew what life was going to bring - and there was an excitement in that. I felt like the world was mine to do whatever I wanted with it. I actually still do.

 

Have I been in primal states? Of course.

But the times I stayed there the longest were the times I was resisting everything good.

 

I've spent over a year now digging deep into my relationship with myself. Revisiting my past. Looking at where I self-abandoned. But instead of getting stuck there, I've been able to separate the lessons from the pain - and recognize they shaped the woman I am today.

 

Someone committed to growth.
To inspiration.
To guiding others by sharing my journey.

Coaching has become one of the greatest blessings of my life because it keeps me anchored in the energy I want to live in.
 

Every minute I stay present, I'm signaling to the Universe that I am becoming. And I am ready. 

 

Every time I pivot when something creeps up, I trust myself a little more.

 

I broke down more days in 2025 than I didn't.

 

I had to feel everything.

I had to learn that alcohol didn't serve my highest self.

I had to stop waiting for a perfect plan and just start.

I had to trust something bigger than me…

 

And I also had to learn to stop being in such a rush for love.

 

For so long, I chased it.

I thought if I could just find the right person…
the right relationship…
the right validation…

everything inside me would finally feel settled.

 

But love doesn't land when you're chasing it.

It lands when you become it.

I had to stop abandoning myself to be chosen.
I had to stop proving my worth through over-giving.
I had to stop confusing intensity for alignment.

I had to completely change how I was going about things in my life. 

 

And in that slowing down…
in that coming home to myself…

I realized the love I was searching for was never outside of me to begin with.

 

And also in that, I was able to write a book that became a bestseller. And lead Self-Worth Intensive Workshops. 
To guide others through the very work that saved me.

 

When I look back at those photos from 1999 until now, I don't just see the phases of my music career. I see the phases of my becoming.

 

The girl who was escaping.
The woman who was proving.
The mother who was sacrificing.
The artist who was surviving.
The human who was healing.

And now… the version of me who is finally living from worth instead of searching for it.

 

Every era had its purpose.
Every breakdown carried a lesson.
Every detour was shaping me into someone I couldn't have become any other way.

 

Just like music has movements… so does a life.

 

And maybe where you are right now isn't the wrong phase.

Maybe it's the one that's waking you up.

The one asking you to come back to the present.
To release the past.
To stop chasing love, validation, or certainty…
and start becoming someone who trusts himself/herself deeply.

 

Because there really is only now.

And who you choose to be in this moment… shapes every phase that comes next.

 

Thank you for your support. Thank you for reaching out and sharing your stories with me. Thank you for trusting me on your own journey and reading my work. It is not lost on me.

 

If you want to dive deeper with me, we have a new five-week Self-Worth Intensive Workshop starting Tuesday night. And a couple of resets to learn more about those before it begins. Join me for a free Self-Worth Reset live via Zoom.  

 

The full schedule below. I'd love for you to join us. Click on the day to register. 🩷

 

 

I love you, 

Lindsay M.