Will I Ever Measure Up?

I know it’s been a few months since I’ve written anything for anyone. Just to do a slight recap, I left for tour with my band, Cold, in the spring, came back, had some serious ups and downs in a relationship I wanted more than anything, only to watch it crumble slowly, all while finally getting my audio released for Unfuckwithable (which is now streaming on all audiobook platforms) and have a near completed first draft of my second book. I’ve had some amazing things happen, and I’ve also been at bottom. If I’m being honest with you, there are days I’m still there. There are still days I question whether I’m ever going to measure up.

However, I have not given up hope. Even when I hurt, I find things to be grateful for. Even when I don’t feel like I’m measuring up, I ask myself, who am I supposed to be measuring up to? All the people who are doing the things I want to be doing? I’m starting to realize that comparison is a fucking trap. And I don’t want to do that anymore. Comparison is a dream killer. Comparison is a black hole of nothing. So why do we do this?

I have always wanted to be part of the cool kids club. I think that’s one of the reasons we see people that we want to emulate. And there is nothing wrong with that. However, I think where we sometimes miss the mark, is by needing all things to be a certain way in order to do the things we say we want to do. I’m so guilty. I tell myself I can’t do something unless this something happens first, like, in A LOT of things. And it’s total BS. I’m calling out my own bullshit.

So, I made a promise to myself on a few things this week as I have really been spending time with myself and really digging deep. First off, I don’t have to have a certain “status” in order to share the things I need. I know for a fact that if I follow my heart and my excitement in helping others, regardless of where I am on my journey, my message will be received by those who need it. It is up to me to do what I feel I must. It’s up to me to listen to my heart. Nothing else matters. Period. It doesn’t matter what people think. It’s doesn’t matter what people say. None of it matters.

I don’t know who needs to hear this today, but it is none of your business what other people think, and it’s none of your business what other people are doing. It is US. I create my own reality. I decide if I live in fear or love. YOU create your own reality. You decide if you live in fear or love. What we see in the mirror is our own reflection. The pivots and the shifts don’t stop after one or two. They never stop. But they do start to become easier. You recover from things faster…when you start to realize that things happen FOR you and not TO you.

My hope for you today, is that you love what you see. My hope for you today, is that you have the courage to look inside and not project outside. My hope for you today is that you find courage to do what many people don’t. If you don’t like what is showing up, may you have the courage and strength to go beyond any self-imposed beliefs of not being enough, to create YOUR life. Because we are all truly enough. We all have the things inside ourselves to create whatever life we want, when we finally have the courage to release our own bullshit.

I love you.

Lindsay M